Vic Viper Vednesday, Week 4: The Bluesfighter

Have you ever wondered what “The Blues Brothers” would have been like as a science-fiction movie?  (Nah, me either.)  But if it had been, I imagine that the dialogue during the ride away from prison at the beginning of the film would have been more like this: 

Jake:  What’s this?

Elwood:  What?

Jake:  This ship.  This stupid Vic Viper!  Where’s the Cadillac?

Elwood:  …

Jake:  The Caddy!  Where’s the Caddy?

Elwood:  The what?

Jake:  The Luxury Cadillac Combat Shuttle we used to have.  The Bluesfighter!

Elwood:  I traded it.

Jake:  You traded the Bluesfighter for this?

Elwood:  No, for a microphone.

Jake:  A microphone…? Okay, I can see that.  But what the hell is this?

Elwood:  This was a bargain.  I picked it up at the Prospect Sector space police auction last spring.  It’s an old Prospect Sector space police Vic Viper.  They were practically giving ‘em away. 

Jake:  Well thank you, pal.  The day I get outta lunar prison, my own brother picks me up in a space police fighter!

Elwood:  You don’t like it? 

Jake:  No, I don’t like it…

Elwood:  It’s got a space cop engine, a 4D-440 hypercubic inch plant, it’s got space cop thrusters, space cop shields, space cop stabilizers.  It’s a model made before nanocombustion converters so it’ll run good on standard rocket fuel.  What do you say, is it the new Bluesfighter or what?

Jake:  Fix the nicotine inhaler.

What a weird film that would have been. 

The Bluesfighter

    Elwood:  Its 106 light days to Chicago Sector.  We’ve got a full tank of rocket fuel, a half full nicotine inhaler cartridge, we’re in the deep dark black of space, and we’re wearing sunglasses. 

    Jake:  Hit it.

The Bluesfighter.  That’s right, you heard me.  The Bluuuuuuuuuuuuesfighter.  The Blues Brothers’ (the Space Blues Brothers’?) new ride.  Picked up from the Prospect Sector space police auction, Elwood saw it as having the potential to be a worthy successor to the original Bluesfighter. 

Sure, it needed a little bit of work, but with Jake still in lunar prison, Elwood had some time on his hands to make a few modifications. 

 

The forward prongs were originally bristling with weaponry (space cop laser guns), but these were all removed before the Vic Viper went up on the auction block.  Can’t have your everyday na’er-do-wells zipping about the galaxy with law-enforcement grade weapons now, can we?

Both the flashing lights and the subspace siren were removed from the ship before its sale as well.  (You can still see the four empty sockets on the wings where the lights had been.  Elwood has been considering installing some strobing disco lights in their place.) 

Elwood kept the space cop motor, thrusters, shields and stabilizers, and added in some raceship thrustboosters and gyroscopics. 

To compensate for the ship having been defanged, Elwood removed the prisoner transport module from behind the bubble cockpit and replaced it with a Multisonic Vibro Cannon.  Then modified it to function as a loudspeaker when inside an atmosphere.  (That microphone he traded the original Bluesfighter for?  Slots right into the Vic Viper’s control console.) 

Now all they have to do is travel across the galaxy putting the band back together, and somehow raise the money to save the space orphanage. 

The adventure begins!